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by Jeffrey T. Brownstein, 5/4/07
My boss is way too demanding!... My significant other nags too much!... My stomach hurts!... The Universe doesn't listen to me!... Blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah. Complaints. Why is it we love to (ok, I'll say it) bitch so much? And more importantly, what can we do to start shifting our energy in a more fruitful direction?
When we choose to complain, we effectively hand away our power - suggesting the only road to change is through outside compliance. What evades the spotlight though is the one person in your life who can actually make a difference - YOU. First, let's look at who you're complaining to. It's likely the person you share gripes with isn't even someone who can alter your circumstances. For example, if you take issue with your employer, who is typically the first person to hear about it? Your friends, your family, your co-workers - none of whom can really do a whole lot to enhance your situation.
This begins to uncover an even deeper issue. Intuitively, we know that directly approaching the target of our complaints is what would make a difference. Yet most times, we settle for commiseration instead. Are we that afraid of respectful confrontation? Do we feel unworthy and undeserving of eliminating our tolerations? Or perhaps the bigger concern is we're simply afraid of getting what we truly want. (Yes, that's what I said!) Because if we did get what we wanted, we'd have nothing to complain about anymore - and then we might actually have to own up, take responsibility, and do something productive with our lives.
The bottom line: You are never being your most excellent self when you complain. Complaining is a waste of energy, and a classic case of Law of Attraction working perfectly. It's negative vibes magnetizing more negative vibes. When we complain/gripe/commiserate (choose your own verbal poison), we're really saying something isn't right, that the present moment isn't perfect exactly as is. And when we do, Law of Attraction continues delivering to us more moments of imperfection and things not being right.
In order to shift vibrational gears, you must first be willing to take ownership of everything in your life - recognizing that only YOU can initiate the changes you desire. Next, you have to be brave enough to address each situation with directness and integrity. Finally, you must be willing to allow the outcome (i.e. getting what you want!) to materialize. Remember, should you accept this mission, you don't have anyone or anything to complain about anymore. You assume the pilot's seat, the control for moving your life in whatever direction you declare. And the truth is, many people just aren't ready for that responsibility.
So are YOU ready? I ask because that's really the only way to manifest everything you desire. Having what you want means letting go of 'Something's wrong here'. It requires you to stop complaining, reclaim your power, and take on your life. I recently heard a country song called "Starting With Me". The lyrics describe one man looking back on his life and not liking what he sees - and what he would have changed to make things different. The song's conclusion: It starts with me. Once you own this truth, everything you desire will be waiting right around the corner!
Until next time...
With love,
-Jeff
Ask Coach Jeff...
Question: When choosing what you want in life, is it possible to be too specific? For example, I have been using LoA in my love life for awhile now, and so far nothing. Is it because I'm being too picky with what I want (what he looks like, his perspective on life, and even how we might meet)? Do I need to be less specific, and let the universe take its course, or should I just be patient? What am i doing wrong?
-Jessica, San Jose, CA
First of all Jessica, you're doing everything right! From the get-go, you want to take the focus off anything being 'wrong', as that isn't a high vibrational thought. As for how specific you should be, that's really your call. Let your feelings guide you. If being specific gets you excited and helps generate positive emotions, then by all means, be as specific as possible. However, if you find that getting down to eye/hair color, taste in music/etc. starts bringing up negative vibes (i.e. I'll never find anyone with all that!), then keep it a bit more general. The key is to create feelings of already having what you want. You may not know how (or even when) Mr. Right will walk into your life - but if you know it's going to happen, The Universe will work to deliver it with speed that matches your vibrations. I'm intending for this to help!
-JTB
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